Thursday, November 29, 2012
Secrets
SECRETS
There were always secrets in my family. I didn't know that in the beginning. It is something I learned as I grew up, became a woman, a wife, and a mother. As a young mother, I had no idea of how the genetic codes also affected behavior. I had always believed behavior to be entirely environmental, I have since learned that this is not so.
As a teenager I had made a vow to myself, “I was going to raise my children in such a way that they would be kept safe from all manner of abuses that I had suffered as child.” I knew that I had enough love, what I didn't know is how deep and how far back the abuse went in my family genetics. It had been there for generations and I was not able to prevent those same abuses from being passed down, in fact, some of them, the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual ones, I perpetuated much to my regret.
In the mid-1970's I was put on a drug for depression, I began to gain a lot of weight and was always exhausted due to the drug. In the early 1980's as I began to investigate healing and pray for healing for the deep depression that I found myself in, I was guided to alternative healing modalities that went deeper into the psyche, and included going into the cell tissue of the body, this changed the DNA by releasing the cell memory stored in the cell tissue. This was absolutely amazing to me. I was fascinated and began searching for truth and healing. How did the body heal, how did Jesus Christ as 'The Master Healer' perform his miracles? He said, “This, and more shall you do.” Would I be able to heal myself? These were my questions, and the alternative modalities were my answers.
I had a sister who was also involved in healing herself. As a child I had never liked this sister, I thought she was selfish, and lazy, I found this was not the truth about her. We became good friends and she became my healing partner. We took classes together, worked on each other and shared our 'secrets'. Our secrets were very similar, in fact they overlapped. Not in every detail nor did they share interactions with the same people, but in the events that we had kept secret. I had been filled with shame, thinking it was my fault and if I could just be 'gooder' these things would stop. Not True! I was not at fault and essentially neither was the perpetrator, a child just two years older than I was. It had to come from somewhere else and taught to the perpetrator.
As my sister and I shared our stories, and talked with a cousin who grew up on our road, we began to discover a thread that wove through our abuses. We also discovered that our parents were not able to take a stand and tell the parents of the children who were our perpetrators because, “They had to live with these people, they were their 'friends and neighbors'” Secrets, are kept by those who believe themselves to be victims and therefore they are powerless to change a situation. We learned where and how the abuse had been perpetuated.
Secrets and more secrets ~
As my parents were approaching the end of their lives, they had set up a Trust to protect their assets that at their deaths their children could inherit equally. This is what we had been told for many, many years. Suddenly when the 'Trustees' were given control of the Trust, we non-Trustees were told that things were non of our business and that they didn't want to tell us, they didn't have to tell us and they were not going to tell us. More Secrets ~
Two years before my mother passed a huge secret came forth, it blew my mind. My mother's father was revealed as 'the father' to my Aunt's illegitimate child that she had been forced to give up for adoption in the early 1900's. There was much shame attach to children born our of wedlock and the story was told that the father was a man who was married and had great responsibilities and therefore she had to give the child up. She was not given a choice as girls are now given. My aunt lived with this secret her whole life, her life was cluttered, she was a hoarder and so out of control, yet on the outside she 'tried' to control. She tried really really hard to be a good person to compensate for her hidden secret, she felt it was her fault.
IT WAS NOT ~
This is one example of the sins of the fathers' being passed down to the children. Children willing accept responsibility for their parents anger and rage, thinking that it is their fault. It is only through personal choice and accountability and coming into a oneness with the Divine and claiming atonement will one be able to heal these patterns, and change their life.
As I met this part of my extended family, I was amazed at how profound the genetic resemblances were. My cousin not only physically looked like my aunt, she walked like my aunt, and talked with the same inflections in her voice and used some of the exact phrases that my aunt used. My cousins' children were close to my age, I found that they carried the same emotional baggage as I did, as well as, my other cousins on my mothers' side of the family. It was like a De Ja Vu. They had experienced very similar abusive situations as I had. I felt connection, compassion, and empathy.
One of the main avenues of healing requires that those things which have been denied, kept secret, be revealed. Not all of these secrets are limited to families. Secrets are kept by cultures, religious orders, communities, nations and individuals.
In my case, it became very apparent to me that my 'family secrets' held keys to release me from the terror and fear that had gripped my life up to that point. I had always controlled my life by clinging to false beliefs that 'if', I could set my boundaries I would be safe. I found myself, always on the run, quitting, making excuses, avoiding and hiding; all ways of deflecting the pain and the responsibility for my life to someone or something else.
I now realize that this was extremely dis-empowering and it led to many of my health issues. Our lives are so interconnected, we must learn to integrate our mind, body and spirit into the oneness that is offered by the Divine, The Atonement.
It is through facing our fears and looking deeply into our lives, choosing to release, forgive and claim the Atonement can we move forward into a productive life filled with the Joy that we seek. For the Joy that we seek is seeking us.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
God's Grace
God's Grace flows through out lives ~ 21 September 2012
As I was contemplating my life and the Divinely orchestrated synchroniscities of my life, I recalled an experience that I had in the late 1980's.
I had been taking classes at what is now Utah Valley University (UVU) along with Institute classes, classes for religious study, for several semesters. I was not able to pay for the next semester at UVU and I wanted to take a class at the Institute on the Life of Jesus Christ. When I went to register for the class I was honest and told them I was not a student, I was not allowed to register. When I asked why, I was told that it was because the classes held at 10 am were for 'students only'. I explained that the class had room for another member and that I had spoken with the teacher and he was willing to allow me to attend his class. The woman firmly, reaffirmed that I was not allowed to take the class because it was 'policy'. I said whose 'policy'? She informed me that the head of the Institute has made the rule to provide students with the availability of the 10 o'clock hour. She could tell I was extremely frustrated and told me I could talk with the person in charge. I said I would love to speak with him.
As I explained the situation to this man how I really desired to take this class and that I needed to take this class. That there was room in the class and that the teacher did not have a problem with my taking the class, he interrupted me and said, “Now, Sister Jonas, do you thinks rules were made to be broken?” My emotions overflowed and I began to tear up. I felt no compassion or empathy from this person. I left the interview feeling so deeply sad and rejected.
The Lord whispered in my ear and said not to worry that this man would be held responsible and that there was another way that would be provided for me to learn of my Savior Jesus Christ. That my honesty would be repaid. The Lord knew that I could have lied and told the registrar that I was a student and then I would have been able to take the class for a mere $5 with no questions asked.
I have never been able to lie. It is not in my character, nor my cell tissue. I sometimes have problems with what the 'Truth' is in certain situations, however, I have always known what is 'truth' for me.
I have been so greatly rewarded as I have forgiven this man what at the time I felt were trespasses against me. I now see him as innocent, doing the best he knew how. My heart reaches out to him for the Savior's Love to Enfold him.
My own Journey with Jesus Christ has turned me inside out, upside down, and thrust me into a journey of self healing. It has opened my eyes and ears to the pains of society and human consciousness. It has allowed me to understand the Divine Plan and my own purpose through my life. Our purpose is shown to us before our descent into human form. It is sealed in our Souls and embedded within our cell tissue.
It can not be lost or stolen from us. It remains hidden until we seek it. It is not secret, it is sacred and will only come forth as we strive to know what it is, ask God to show it to us and bring our life into alignment through the Atonement.
Our purpose is chosen for us as we counsel in the preexistence prior to our incarnation. It is carefully orchestrated for us to be able to claim it with right timing for our ultimate good. Because we are part of the planning committee for our purpose we are held accountable for it fulfillment.
Your Purpose can only be fulfilled when you learn, THY WILL, NOT my will, BE DONE.
Dear Lord
Dear Lord ~
Keep me this day
in the Hollow of Thy Hand ~
Guide me and Guard me
as I travail through the mists of my life.
Lord, I pray
part the mists ~
That I may Emerge
into Thy Holiness.
MariahInanna Jonas
17 September 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Moving Forward
Inanna – 2 May 2012
As I look backwards at my life, I think one of the most profound insights I have gained is to look forward with delight as my life changes daily.
I remember as a very young child perceiving life as magical and extraordinary. I loved being alone and contemplating nature. The summer grass was so green, the skies so blue. Winter's snow so white and cold. Autumn leaves brilliant shades of yellow, orange, and red. The Spring rains which brought forth Pussy Willows, Lilacs and Daffodils, and Tulips. The seasons filled me with Awe. I felt God in everything all around me.
I loved to swing. I would imagine myself being able to swing so hard and so high as to literally bail out into the beautiful blue sky. I was amazed at the beauty of the clouds and intrigued that the stars could appear so bright when the sun went down. My childhood was full of mystery and awe. I felt connected to God and all of the Universe.
It was my physical relationships that I could not reconcile. It was as if I slipped from one world, Universal Nature, into a tiny confined physicality with people that neither saw me nor did they hear me. They had no time for me and I felt no value or worth in their eyes. My siblings never had a kind word for me, they made fun and ridiculed me.
Life was full of paradoxes. I existed in a Universe that was expansive and inclusive and then suddenly I would feel as if I had been dropped – and there was no interaction or involvement with the physical beings of my birth family. Most of my early memories are of me being alone. I never felt alone and I didn't necessarily question that fact for I 'truly' was never alone, alone. I had my spirit friends and guides and they kept me company and comforted. I know now that they protected me from more harm than I knew at the time existed around me.
It was allowed that I experienced all facets of abuse before I was eight years old and that was enough for me to learn and experience things that would be my driving force even up to the present time. These experiences have created a deep and abiding desire to know and understand how to break the chains of abuse that have been passed down from generation to generation. I remember always having conversations with these 'friends'. I would carry on long and extensive conversations which were verbally audible. Around the time I was in the fourth or fifth grade my siblings began to belittle and make fun of my talking to people they could not see. They considered this inappropriate behavior for they did not believe that we could be connected to things of the spirit. I felt humiliated and shamed. I told my 'spirit friends' that I needed to focus on things that were 'real' and that I couldn't talk with them anymore and I also stopped listening to them.
My life became very lonely, I immersed myself into my music. I had been learning to play the piano since I was five. I sat down and started to teach myself using a colored note method my parents had. I found it was easy for me to understand that each note as it went up the scale climbed the staff, or as it went lower on the staff the notes went down the piano keyboard. I was not able to read well, yet I had an uncanny understanding of how the piano and the notes in the music books worked. Music became my solace, my consolation, my friend.
I also began to read voraciously, mystery, biographies, science fiction, and the classics. Reading filled hours and hours each week. I could read most books in an evening, sometimes I would read 11/2 books in a day. I had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I had so many questions that I wanted answers to. My reading filled my life with a new kind of friends that filled the hours and kept me from feeling lonely. The written work fascinated me and opened the door to possibilities.
Life felt like a dream – it still feels like a dream. My experiences have shaped and sculpted my interior world and helped me to accept my exterior world, to embrace all of the good, as well as, release any negative experiences with love and gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gained. Since the early 1980's I have openly screamed at the Gods for answers to my question, “Why?” And line upon line I have been taught by the spirit and guided to great teachers who walk the earth today teaching the Great Wisdom of the Ages as taught by Jesus Christ, Buddah, Rumi, Lao Tzsu and many others.
It is said that life is a journey, not a destination. I have come into a knowing that there are no accidents. Life is governed by Eternal Law that cannot be broken. The Law exists and governs the entire Universe and all that dwells therein, animal, mineral, plant, and the human species.
Everything is energy and therefore vibrates within the Law. Energy is Light, all Light is energy – yet, denser matter vibrates at a lower frequency of Light. Within the Universe exists the opposition of all things and all things being made up of Light/Energy. The highest frequency of light that has been calculated to my knowledge is Einstein's Theory: E=MC², the most dense matter would be the heaviest object in the universe.
Everything that is now within the physicality of life was once pure spirit. This too has a vibrational rate, this is the space where all existed as intelligence which we call: Love, Light, Joy and Peace. There was no opposition. It is our goal as human beings to transcend the opposition and to raise our vibrations to return to the Oneness of this Light. It is our journey and our quest, this is the Holy Grail that has been sought for centuries.
It exists within each of us as a Light to shine the way home. To open our hearts that they may heal from the oppositions we experience here upon the earth. To break the cycles of abuse and return to the Light that all may heal and live in peace. We each have encoded within us what I refer to as “The God Codes”. These codes reside in our hearts as our desires, in our bones as memory, and in our cell tissues as our genetic codes. They are to be respected, sought out and followed for it is within our power to transcend all of the dense matter/energy here upon the earth and return safely to that state of Oneness.
Blessings ~
As I look backwards at my life, I think one of the most profound insights I have gained is to look forward with delight as my life changes daily.
I remember as a very young child perceiving life as magical and extraordinary. I loved being alone and contemplating nature. The summer grass was so green, the skies so blue. Winter's snow so white and cold. Autumn leaves brilliant shades of yellow, orange, and red. The Spring rains which brought forth Pussy Willows, Lilacs and Daffodils, and Tulips. The seasons filled me with Awe. I felt God in everything all around me.
I loved to swing. I would imagine myself being able to swing so hard and so high as to literally bail out into the beautiful blue sky. I was amazed at the beauty of the clouds and intrigued that the stars could appear so bright when the sun went down. My childhood was full of mystery and awe. I felt connected to God and all of the Universe.
It was my physical relationships that I could not reconcile. It was as if I slipped from one world, Universal Nature, into a tiny confined physicality with people that neither saw me nor did they hear me. They had no time for me and I felt no value or worth in their eyes. My siblings never had a kind word for me, they made fun and ridiculed me.
Life was full of paradoxes. I existed in a Universe that was expansive and inclusive and then suddenly I would feel as if I had been dropped – and there was no interaction or involvement with the physical beings of my birth family. Most of my early memories are of me being alone. I never felt alone and I didn't necessarily question that fact for I 'truly' was never alone, alone. I had my spirit friends and guides and they kept me company and comforted. I know now that they protected me from more harm than I knew at the time existed around me.
It was allowed that I experienced all facets of abuse before I was eight years old and that was enough for me to learn and experience things that would be my driving force even up to the present time. These experiences have created a deep and abiding desire to know and understand how to break the chains of abuse that have been passed down from generation to generation. I remember always having conversations with these 'friends'. I would carry on long and extensive conversations which were verbally audible. Around the time I was in the fourth or fifth grade my siblings began to belittle and make fun of my talking to people they could not see. They considered this inappropriate behavior for they did not believe that we could be connected to things of the spirit. I felt humiliated and shamed. I told my 'spirit friends' that I needed to focus on things that were 'real' and that I couldn't talk with them anymore and I also stopped listening to them.
My life became very lonely, I immersed myself into my music. I had been learning to play the piano since I was five. I sat down and started to teach myself using a colored note method my parents had. I found it was easy for me to understand that each note as it went up the scale climbed the staff, or as it went lower on the staff the notes went down the piano keyboard. I was not able to read well, yet I had an uncanny understanding of how the piano and the notes in the music books worked. Music became my solace, my consolation, my friend.
I also began to read voraciously, mystery, biographies, science fiction, and the classics. Reading filled hours and hours each week. I could read most books in an evening, sometimes I would read 11/2 books in a day. I had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I had so many questions that I wanted answers to. My reading filled my life with a new kind of friends that filled the hours and kept me from feeling lonely. The written work fascinated me and opened the door to possibilities.
Life felt like a dream – it still feels like a dream. My experiences have shaped and sculpted my interior world and helped me to accept my exterior world, to embrace all of the good, as well as, release any negative experiences with love and gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gained. Since the early 1980's I have openly screamed at the Gods for answers to my question, “Why?” And line upon line I have been taught by the spirit and guided to great teachers who walk the earth today teaching the Great Wisdom of the Ages as taught by Jesus Christ, Buddah, Rumi, Lao Tzsu and many others.
It is said that life is a journey, not a destination. I have come into a knowing that there are no accidents. Life is governed by Eternal Law that cannot be broken. The Law exists and governs the entire Universe and all that dwells therein, animal, mineral, plant, and the human species.
Everything is energy and therefore vibrates within the Law. Energy is Light, all Light is energy – yet, denser matter vibrates at a lower frequency of Light. Within the Universe exists the opposition of all things and all things being made up of Light/Energy. The highest frequency of light that has been calculated to my knowledge is Einstein's Theory: E=MC², the most dense matter would be the heaviest object in the universe.
Everything that is now within the physicality of life was once pure spirit. This too has a vibrational rate, this is the space where all existed as intelligence which we call: Love, Light, Joy and Peace. There was no opposition. It is our goal as human beings to transcend the opposition and to raise our vibrations to return to the Oneness of this Light. It is our journey and our quest, this is the Holy Grail that has been sought for centuries.
It exists within each of us as a Light to shine the way home. To open our hearts that they may heal from the oppositions we experience here upon the earth. To break the cycles of abuse and return to the Light that all may heal and live in peace. We each have encoded within us what I refer to as “The God Codes”. These codes reside in our hearts as our desires, in our bones as memory, and in our cell tissues as our genetic codes. They are to be respected, sought out and followed for it is within our power to transcend all of the dense matter/energy here upon the earth and return safely to that state of Oneness.
Blessings ~
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Living Your God Codes
Dear Ones,
We are concerned that you struggle too much with your challenges. A challenge is not to lead you into stress, despair, feelings of unworthiness, etc. A challenge is an opportunity for you to meet that which resides within you and desires a pathway of being acknowledged and then lovingly released.
There can be no offense when an incident is not taken personally. We are each personally accountable for ourselves and only for ourselves. If it comes out of our mouth, from our actions, our thoughts, desires and intents, IT is about the 'self'. When it come out of another person's mouth, their actions, thought, desires and intents, IT is about 'them', the other.
When it is personal, coming forth from within, then you are able to make changes from within. One of the major obstacles is that many strive to overcome challenges by looking outside of self for the answers.
Dear Ones, each and everyone of you have been from the beginning downloaded with The God Codes. They exist within your cell tissue, your heart, and your bones. Take time too remember who you are and in whose image you have been created.
You come directly from the Divine, to dwell upon this fabulous earth with purpose and intent encoded within you. As you learn to release others to their own personal journey and take upon yourself YOUR personal journey. You will begin to know yourself and for what purpose you have been born.
It is vital for each of your to return to that Source from with you come and which is encoded within you. Take time each day to connect with yourself on higher levels. Know the Truth of YOU. Know that your thoughts are prayers and carry the vibration of prayer, every thought is heard and answered. Take time to listen and to know that you are loved, heard and valued. You are never left alone to dwell here in loneliness, despair and turmoil.
As you release the turmoil within you, you will cease to see, hear and feel the turmoils that resides on the outside of you. You will then dwell in peace, love and joy.
Blessings, Inanna
We are concerned that you struggle too much with your challenges. A challenge is not to lead you into stress, despair, feelings of unworthiness, etc. A challenge is an opportunity for you to meet that which resides within you and desires a pathway of being acknowledged and then lovingly released.
There can be no offense when an incident is not taken personally. We are each personally accountable for ourselves and only for ourselves. If it comes out of our mouth, from our actions, our thoughts, desires and intents, IT is about the 'self'. When it come out of another person's mouth, their actions, thought, desires and intents, IT is about 'them', the other.
When it is personal, coming forth from within, then you are able to make changes from within. One of the major obstacles is that many strive to overcome challenges by looking outside of self for the answers.
Dear Ones, each and everyone of you have been from the beginning downloaded with The God Codes. They exist within your cell tissue, your heart, and your bones. Take time too remember who you are and in whose image you have been created.
You come directly from the Divine, to dwell upon this fabulous earth with purpose and intent encoded within you. As you learn to release others to their own personal journey and take upon yourself YOUR personal journey. You will begin to know yourself and for what purpose you have been born.
It is vital for each of your to return to that Source from with you come and which is encoded within you. Take time each day to connect with yourself on higher levels. Know the Truth of YOU. Know that your thoughts are prayers and carry the vibration of prayer, every thought is heard and answered. Take time to listen and to know that you are loved, heard and valued. You are never left alone to dwell here in loneliness, despair and turmoil.
As you release the turmoil within you, you will cease to see, hear and feel the turmoils that resides on the outside of you. You will then dwell in peace, love and joy.
Blessings, Inanna
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